Connection Coaching

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Hey you,

I'm Dr. Jingshu Zhu, former lawyer and anthropologist turned connection coach.

My coaching style is personal and vulnerable.

I prefer working on themes that I had been struggling with and gained embodied insights, hoping that your fragile parts would feel not alone:

  • Sexual trauma (I made a video about my healing journey)
  • Eating disorder
  • Body image problems
  • Low self-esteem and strong inner critic
  • People pleasing, hard to say "no"
  • Procrastination
  • Burnout and career crisis
  • Affairs and open relationships
  • LGBTQ, BDSM, and other sexual minority issues
  • Spiritual awakening and grounding in the material world

No, I wasn't naturally good at making connections, not at all.

As a sexually abused and bullied child, I lived in fear (unconsciously) for 25 years, wrapping myself in a shell of "high performing, no feeling":

  • I longed for intimacy but was also terrified of it, so I could never stay in a long-term relationship;
  • I obtained a Ph.D. in Law and Anthropology, yet I still thought I was "not good enough";
  • I was very afraid of conflicts, so I learned to please while neglecting my own needs and boundaries;
  • I suffered for years from eating disorder and Irritable Bowel Syndrom (IBS);
  • My nerve system was constantly on high alert, so I didn't know what "rest" or "play" really meant.

Slowly I discovered, all the symptoms directed to the fact that I lost contact with myself, my unique, vunerable and resourceful self.

Through years of meditation, dancing, writing, therapies, intentional use of psychedelics, and Circling, my body slowly came out of the shell, and now I'm living my life much fuller:

  • I feel much safer in a committed relationship;
  • I get curious about conflicts and oftentimes manage to find the pearls thereunder;
  • The eating disorder and IBS are gone;
  • I devote my energy to my passion, and I know how to rest and play;
  • While the inner critic and the anxious voice are sometimes still there, I can more easily love them as my sweet protectors.

If you're also going through a "human-shedding" period, I want to co-create positive shifts with you, too.

I'm here to support you to cultivate an intimate connection with your inner world - your feelings, bodily sensations, needs, shadows, and resources. From there, you'll find yourself harvesting a deeper connection with your loved ones. Effortlessly, you'll connect to the passion and playfulness in your work life as well.

Flowers blooming around here
Photo by TOMOKO UJI on Unsplash

MY SPECIALTIES

1. I would like to empower you from within.

Have you been going to one retreat after another, following one guru after another, yet still feel frustrated that you can't seem to cope with your day-to-day life?

I would like to help you ground, and find love, wisdom, and power that's always already inside of you. While you'll still learn from others, you'll trust more deeply that you're your own guru.

2. I'm not interested in providing "pain killers" or "placebo" to you.

Whatever the "problem" you think you have, I will not give you a quick fix. Instead, I'll encourage you to stay with your pain (within limits of course), and see what will happen when we don't run away from it.

After all, as Brené Brown puts it, "lasting, meaningful change has to be driven by self-acceptance".

3. I will tailor my tools for your needs.

In working with clients, I may apply Circling (interpersonal meditation), IFS (internal family system), Polyvagal Theory, Inner Child Work, intuitive bodywork, and etc. Occasionally, I work with psychedelics if we both find it suitable.

More importantly, I will support you internalize the tools we use, not just to be understood by your brain, but also to integrate them in your day-to-day life.

4. Humor and playfulness is my secret weapon.

I'm an enthusiast for fun growth. I believe laughing, dancing, crawling, celebrating (and, yes, orgasms!) are all part of healing and transformation.

Working with me, you'll get in touch with your most creative and playful inner child, who will make your life 69% easier (I just made that number up :P).

ARE WE A GOOD FIT?

With time, I found that the clients who got the most beneficial results share the following qualities, and I hope that's you, too:

1. You're ready to be responsible for your life.

I'll be a companion on your journey, yet you'll be the one who takes every step. Own your feelings, your needs, your mistakes, and your superpower. This can be scary in the beginning, but you'll soon feel more powerful!

2. You're willing to lean towards the edge of your comfort zone.

I'll encourage you to explore the areas which you're not so familiar with. For instance, if you're highly analytical, we may experience long periods of silence in our sessions; and if you're used to absorbing others' feelings, we'll practice lots of boundary-drawing.

3. You're willing to take action.

Every week, I may tailor an exercise for you. It may be in the form of writing, dancing, drawing, chores or simply doing nothing.

Of course, the resistance to taking actions per se will also be explored in our sessions.


Still hesitant?

Book a free 45-minute intake session with me.

Or write me an email.

Let's connect!

Typlog